Forever Gone, Forever You
by Pretenna
Summary: A very strange wierd one-shot type thing. When you find out the one you love has been cheating on you what do you do? Do you...sttempt suicide?


Pre: Hiya chicceras! 

M: She's back with another short 'un

Pre: *Pouts* Well I felt in the mood for this one so…

M: *Sighs and raises her eyes* Anyway where's Y 'n' Y today?

Pre: Oh they're on holiday leave I've got a replacement being sent but until then I'm gonna have to do with just you

M: Charming! Is that all the thanks I get after everything I've done for you?

Pre: I was joshin' sweetie that's all

M: Joshin'? Sweetie? Ack no you sound like that friend of yours!

Pre: *Grins* Anyway before I start this fic **I'd like to make a dedication…in appreciation of all her fantastic angst this fic goes out to JerseyGirl03!**

M: Thanks chicca, keep up the great stories!

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7.31pm…

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I get dressed slowly, mechanically, not really caring what I wear but I want to look my best for you. Everything's for you always has been, always will be.

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7.39pm…

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I walk the dark streets the sounds of the night engulfing me in their never-ending screams. You're not coming, I know you're not. I can feel it in my bones deep, deep down. I know you won't you never do not lately anyway. The pain of this thought burns itself deep into my soul like a match struck against a wall, a simmering spark waiting to ignite. Is it you or something about me? Maybe I shouldn't go to prove that I don't care so much, I don't know I never know not when it comes to you. 

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7.45pm…

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I wonder what would it feel like to make you wait, to have you wait for me for a change?

That thought's futile though as I know I won't, I couldn't just leave you there not unless something happened beyond my control. But still I'd panic assume you'd think that I don't care when really it's the exact opposite - I care _too_ much. You wouldn't believe that though would you? Sometimes you can be so cruel.

Anyway I'm here now, should I go on in or wait for you out here? I'll wait I think.

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8.25pm…

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I've been standing outside the club for ages now where are you? Are you all right? Oh Kami I hope nothing's happened to you.

It's getting cold maybe I will go inside. You know where I'll be don't you? The same place I always wait for you.

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8.50pm…

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Your warning, _'Don't drink too much,'_ echoes throughout my mind as I get to my feet unsteadily. Not drinking means thinking though and that's one thing I _really _don't want to do.

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8.53pm…

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I walk down the empty streets my mind numbed by the drink and my body by the cold. I see nothing around me, am aware of nothing. Not caring what happens to me I would rather die than not be with you.

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8.56pm…

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A hand reaches out to grab me my mind closing down for a second as I lean back into the blissfully warm body behind me. A thick fog descends upon my brain as I sink into the sinful darkness that has been calling out to me all night long.

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9.13pm…

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I come to painfully, calling out your name as I do so. But you're not there you never are, are you? Not when I really need you.

"_Help me, oh Kami, someone please help me._" I whisper through dry, cracked, lips as I pull myself to my feet. "_I can't take much more of this pain_."

Somehow I stumble out of the alley I'm not sure exactly how long I had lain in there but everything outside in the street seems normal. People stumbling back from drunken nights out with their friends, lovers holding hands as they walk home after a date out together. Even the moon itself shone down in all its naked glory as though mocking me in some sadistic way.

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9.15pm…

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Grating my teeth against the pain I start to run. I'm so afraid so terrified because I know, I know where you are I guess I was just too blind to see it before. No not blind I just ignored it pushed it to the back of my mind in desperation, hoping against hope that if I didn't acknowledge it, it would disappear. Cease to exist…

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9.17pm

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I paused outside her house pain searing throughout my abused body as I pant for breath. I can see you clearly through the open french windows. You're kissing her, her hand tracing patterns under your shirt as she slides it up your back. What are you doing? You should be doing this to me not her. To me! Me…

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9.18pm…

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Tears blur my vision as I watch. She's starting to unbutton your shirt and your making no move to stop her. I feel sick, so sick standing here watching but it's as though I'm wedged to the spot I couldn't move even if I wanted to.

"_No_." I whisper it softly as though I can wish it all away with that one simple word. "_No._"

There's a pain burning inside my chest now, pressing down harder and harder against my heart smothering me as I see her lean over to whisper something into your ear. You laugh at what she said before taking her outstretched hand and following her out towards her bedroom. 

I duck down as you pass close by the open window fragments of your conversation drift towards me. "_…never…sex…bitch." _

I don't stop to hear any more as I turn and race back the way I came your hurtful words drumming into my head, embedding themselves like seeds into my memory. 

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9.23pm…

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I blink dazedly as the distant sound of a door slamming shut cuts through the haze surrounding my mind. Without even realising it I've arrived home I guess my feet must've taken over for me somewhere along the line. Flicking on the dim lights I pad softly into the kitchen vaguely it enters my mind that the light bulb will need changing again soon hmm maybe I'd better add it to the shopping list while I'm thinking about it. 

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9.25pm…

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As I place the pen back down my hand hovers over the fridge before I turn and head to the sink, I need something _much, much _stronger than juice. Opening the cupboard beneath the sink I rummage around 'til my hand comes into contact with the bottle you'd stashed there ages ago you've probably forgotten it's even there right? I grab the bottle and head to the couch. Plunking myself down and reaching for the remote control, thoughts run through my head unheeded. 

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9.30pm…

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I flick the channels out of habit nothing really catching my eye. Growling in frustration I throw the remote across the coffee table where it tips haphazardly for a second or two before falling onto the carpet with a soft thud.

The t.v. crackles for a moment, as though in protest, before a song filters through into the room. I vaguely recognise this song as one you listen to - what's the name of the band? Evan - something I think. Ahh well I'm sure it will come to me eventually but for now I'll just sit here and listen. I really can't be bothered to go and fetch that remote. 

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I wanted you to be with me  
For so long I don't even know by now  
But now that I've given up on you  
Defiantly you see me  
  
Walking away I see the pain  
You put me through  
Lost in your game to change the same  
Forever gone, forever you  
  
There's something very wrong about this  
I think you knew all along somehow  
You'll only take me to change my mind  
Lonely, broken, and defeated  
  
So far away I see the truth  
I see through you  
Now that I know the way you play  
I don't want to  
  
Walking away I see the pain  
You put me through  
Lost in your game to change the same  
Forever gone, forever you 

The song's words punctured through my brain as I stood only then noticing the flashing light of my answer machine.

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9.33pm…

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The message on my phone's from you. 

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"Hey koi it's me anyway I'm not gonna be back until late tonight so can we do a rain check on that drink? I would've rang earlier but I wasn't sure. Look I'd better go, I'll see ya tomorrow anyway koi."

Lies. The word echoes through my head like a mantra. It's _all_ lies. Did you ever care about me at all or was I just some little game to you? A toy you could throw away once you had finished with? 

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9.34pm…

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The bottle in my hand begins to shake as your words replay over and over again in my mind the spark that has been burning inside of me for so long seems to ignite within me in one fluid burst.

They were there, right there, the bottle of pills the doctor had given me for my fever a few weeks ago. Slowly I reach for them turning them over in my hand I can barely make out the small words printed there. '_Caution do not exceed daily dosage of 3-4 pills per day.' _

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9.35pm…

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As if of there own accord my hands begin to unscrew the bottle your lying words echoing in my head and fanning the flames burning within me higher and higher.

My mind was becoming hazy incoherent thoughts swimming round and round in my mind. 

If I died could I start again anew somewhere else? Somewhere where there was no pain or suffering?

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9.37pm…

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It was worth a shot right? Everything is, isn't that what you've always said to me?

See? I'm beginning to think in past tense already. 

This bottle in my hand will soon be empty and I will feel nothing, no pain, no thoughts, no feelings, nothing.

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9.40pm…

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The sound of the key turning echoed around the too quiet house as the door was opened and a boy stepped through.

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"Hey Koi did you get my message? I changed my mind about not coming back…koi…?"

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Pre: …Oh Kami what did I just do?

M: You mean you don't know?!?

Pre: Of course I do I just didn't expect it to turn out quite so…

M: Who's it about anyway?

Pre: That's for me to know and everyone else to guess!

M: You mean you're not gonna tell us?!?

Pre: I'll tell ya in the next chappy - that is if you guys want one? I suppose this could be a oneshot but I thought I'd do one from the other persons pov as well. Review and see if you can guess who this one's about if you can!

*Waves and vanishes in a puff of sparkly purple smoke* 


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